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Guest Blogger Jenn Henry: It’s Okay to Not Like Things. But Don’t be a Di*k About It.

by J. Michael Collins

icon-for-john-henry-says-its-ok-not-to-like-things

“Don’t be a dick.”  Simple, right? What does it really mean though, “Don’t be a puppy-kicking baby hater?” In broad strokes, sure, that one is simple enough; but is there a gradient? While, “Don’t be a dick,” might not have a full 50 shades to overanalyze there are things easily taken for granted that amount to joy-sucking, and…being a dick.

It’s okay to not like things. Don’t be a dick about it. There’s even a song.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0la5DBtOVNI We see it daily…. ‘dick moves’ strewn across social media outlets. From celebrity to next-door neighbor, someone posts, “I like this!” and others are quick to fling poo at what they like/support and/or them personally for their expression. Another manner of such is to post one’s own poo fling at something/someone others favor. In our own little enclave, we relax to greatest hits like: “P2Ps suck.” “I love [insert event].” “This [insert event] sucks because” “You’re ruining the industry if you [insert one of 319 things]” “I’m new and [insert one of 319 questions]”. Negativity ensues and five comments into a thread everyone is acting like a dick toward everyone else because for some reason if someone is going to stir that pot, the stew is not complete without what we have to add….because, obviously, what we have to add is going to stop the room in its tracks and unify all to our perspective, right? Egos are cheeky like that, eh? By the time the thread finds its conclusion what’s the takeaway?

It is important to note, I have no amnesty. I am the occasional hypocrite, perhaps for even writing this. Adherence to such a mantra as, “Don’t be a dick,” requires continual measures of gut-checking, staying in the present moment, and sometimes my ego drives me to believe what I have to say will somehow make a difference in these spaces. Not so much. What it does do is afford me the opportunity to have endorphins released when people “like” and agree. In truth, I am sullying my own space and that of others because negativity is and breeds negativity. If I need validation, approval, and endorphin spooge, (which I do…don’t love to admit it, but, yea…it feels good, so…) funny anecdotes and dumb memes garner positive responses without crapping on someone else’s doorstep and are no less meaningful. One choice is 360 positivity the other is mixed at best.

You have a choice. Don’t be a dick. This component empowers well beyond our media, social and otherwise. This is all about knowing we have a choice in each moment and making the ones that best serve our own space, those continual measures of gut-checking, staying in a present moment, and understanding how we impact our sphere/space and all who encounter it. This is actually about, “living in gratitude,” (which is not necessarily the same as having gratitude for something particular.)Living in gratitude changes our perspective, it affords us the opportunity to ask ourselves, “How important is it?” “Is it a concern or a consideration?” Have you ever been running behind and that, “domino effect,” kicks in? We have the opportunity to not be a dick by taking each moment as it comes. We have the ability to stop the spread of our shit day, and/or even start a positive chain of events for another by simply being aware of our footprint on our heart and headspace as well as what we track across that of others.

Living the mantra, “Don’t be a dick,” means every day you eat rainbows and fart sunshine!…no, that’s dumb and unrealistic. (It is possible to barf Skittles and that’s a kind of rainbow, but I digress) It absolutely means we can 100% add to our own joy by not sucking it away from others.  Be kind. Be gracious. Be appreciative. Live in gratitude and much falls into place. One part of that can be before we take to the keyboard to be brilliant, insightful, and persuasive by way of pissing in someone else’s cornflakes, to remember, “It’s okay to not like things, don’t be a dick about it.” Or In the words of the incredible Craig Ferguson, “Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said, by me? Does this need to be said, by me, right now?” The answer is usually, “Probably not.”  Live. Laugh. Love…and don’t be a dick…it just makes a better life.

Filed Under: Blog, guest post

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